Nightmare Not Over
by Suboi Airi
Summary: Prequel to My Love, My Darling, Let's Play and is read along side Two Apart. The relationship between Kuro and Kiku before they came together in a good relationship. Short scenes of all the events untill after World War Two, told by Kiku. Japancest!


Hihi Minna sama~! This is Suboi Airi~! Japancest~! Pre sweet Kuro! If have read my fic my love my darling lets play, you would know what I'm talking about when I say sweet ^^

This is prequel to Japancest, to non-con Japancest, to accepting Japancest, and back to non-con Japancest. It's not the sweet Japancest yet. It's all the prequel to the sweet Japancest XD

Please enjoy~

* * *

Onii-chan! Wait for me..!" a small tiny Kiku cried out, trying to keep up with his elder brother. The brother turned around and halted. Golden eyes looked at him tenderly as a hand was held up. "You need to be faster in the future. But it's okay. I'll be here. You'll never be alone."

The tiny kiku smiled brightly as he reached out his hand to grab the offered hand. "Don't ever leave me Nii-chan. Promise me?"

Tender gold eyes looked at his brown ones. "I promise. I'll be with you wherever you go."

From there, they both went back to running off to where ever they were running to previously.

* * *

This time it was a slightly older Kiku, though still very much a child.

"Nii-san, why do you think we are...?"

Golden eyes looked at him. "Why do I think we are what..? We both know that we are different from humans. We are just special. Why question?"

Kiku frowned. It had been already some time that they discovered that they were closer to the land and the earth then other people, what with their quick healing powers, and tendency to be hurt when something bad had happened to Japan.

But what Kiku did not understand, was why they were different. They were not the same. Sometimes only Kiku took some damage. Sometimes it was both. It seemed that his brother was also changing, growing a slightly different eye shape from what was the same. Also, it seemed to be that Kiku was healthier than his brother in terms of weight, but his brother was always faster and more agile. He had a suspicion that his brother was hiding something from him, but he did not know what. There was always a barrier that prevented him knowing. He suspected his brother. He was always doing something without him..

His brother was also growing slightly coarse. He admired how refined his brother always was, and it seemed to be diminishing.. He wondered if there was perhaps someone else that he could look up to instead. If it was not his brother that would help him along.

He wanted to get away from his brother for a while.

Golden eyes considered him and turned away. "Do what you want."

"I want to go out."

His brother shrugged. Kiku left.

He walked and walked and walked until he felt slightly lost. Like he was somewhere he did not belong. He looked around. He.. He would not call for his brother. He wanted to be strong.

Then he heard a voice. "Aiyaah! Who are you aru?"

He never did return to where he left. He was five then. They did not meet again until he was nine.

* * *

He was out of Yao's house to walk around. He knew that Yao warned him about some places, but he wanted to find out more. It seemed dimly familiar but he brushed it off. He had never been here before. This was not his kind of environment.

He was kidnapped for his foolishness and saved by a stranger that knew his name. He was suspicious. That person sounded so familiar. It was only through hints that the other gave that Kiku realised who it was. And what his name was.

He was ashamed. By then, there was no way he could call the person he refused to see and ignored his brother. He had distanced himself so much... He could not say that he knew the person with such familiar yet strange eyes. He no longer belonged with the other. It was strange, alien, and he did not like it.

And he knew that Kuro knew he did not belong just as much.

"Go back to Chuugoku." Kuro said.

He was given no choice.

* * *

This time they were no longer children, but early teenagers.

He had seen Kuro in one of the Emperor's events. Kuro was no longer the skinny, dirty child he was before. He stood with poise, confidence and grace. He had become stronger and toned. Kiku had stayed just the same. He wondered what made such a change, as he had not seen the other at all since... That time. Seeing the huge changes made him once again see how much of each other they missed.. The person that was once his brother.

It was during a conversation about Yao that he learned more about the person known as Kuro. For one, he was good at making a convincing point and could sway them to his thinking. For another... He did not like Yao.

When the meeting ended, he saw Kuro move to the garden. He tried to call out.

"Kuro-kun-"  
"Rude creature. Show respect where it is due."

Kiku was surprised at that. He paused, at a loss for words.

"I am your superior. You had best remember that and treat me properly."

Kiku took a small gulp as intense golden eyes looked at him in disdain. He felt small under the stare.

He licked his lips before opening his mouth. "In terms of being, we would be the same-"

The blow was too fast for him to see. He suddenly was on the ground an intense pain at his cheek. He looked up, wide eyed at Kuro.

"We are not the same. Not anymore. Do you really think we are equal? That we are the same? You questioned it once, why the sudden change? You questioned and took your path. I have nothing to say to you."

Kiku reached out for him "Kuro-ku-"

His voice died at the flash of pure red in those golden orbs. He was scared.. He was very scared...

He could finally breath again when the gaze moved away and Kuro walked off.

Things had changed between them. For the first time, Kiku finally realised that Kuro hated him.

* * *

They were in their early twenties.

Kiku had learned to fear Kuro. He had learned to shut up when the other told him to. He had learned that he could not change this relationship between them. Kuro was slick and powerful in ways the more straightforward Kiku was not. He held himself in such confidence that people immediately let him take charge. He was everything that Kiku was becoming not.

He was also very hurtful. He would always seem to be there when Kiku was alone.. And his words.

"are you really so insipid that you really believe that..?."

"You once asked why we are.. Have you found out why you are..? Have you ever thought that there should only be one personification?"

"Is that all you can do? You kid me. Did I overestimate you that much? A foolish mistake that must be rectified."

"You love Nihon? I wasn't aware you liked to lie. If you really love Nihon, I don't see it. You are a betrayer. A simple fact. You are going to smash something beautiful."

"You poor thing... You must hate yourself. After all look at what you are doing to you?"

"What is your worth? I do wonder... I cant find any."

Each time, he would question Kiku's choices and reasons. He would question Kiku's own existence. Kiku could not rebuke either. He did not know how. He was like a frightened prey, and Kuro the predator, always watching and always waiting for a chance to take him down.

Kiku spied Kuro from the corner of his eye. They were in a crowded room, so he thought he was safe. Surely Kuro would not approach him while he was in company..

He mingled with the group he was nearest to, when he saw Kuro slowly make his lazy way to him. They were talking about the spring and what flowers would bloom. Kiku eagerly participated. He made it that he was part of the group. That they would not want to let him go. He was slowly enthralling them with his speech. He was talking about how greener leaves showed healthier plants and how beautiful and lush a particular plant could be when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

"Ah, what are you all talking about so animatedly' I must join you."

He turned to see golden eyes right behind his shoulder.

"Oh, we're talking about plants", a young lady said unhesitatingly, "But I am sure someone in such a position as yourself would not be interested in these matters"

Kiku looked puzzled. In such a position..? He looked at Kuro curiously. What position..?

Kuro gave a brilliant smile."Oh, no. Just because I am a warrior of my beloved country does not mean that I would not enjoy such things. I too have a garden that I like to use to relax."

The people around smiled approvingly. Kiku knew that means that they were pleased by something, and by what he could guess, it was due to humility to rank...?"

"You are truly someone to look up to, Master Kuro." said one of the people.

Master..? Kiku's eyes snapped up to Kuro's red ones.

"Iie,iie, you flatter me too much. I have not had this position for long and have much to learn."

"You are too humble, Master Kuro. By this time, most would be looking out for someone to train."

Kuro's eyes flashed to Kiku. He smiled. Kiku trembled at what would happen next.

"Actually, I have been thinking of taking someone under me. What do you think, Honda-san? Would you like to come under me?"

Kuro's eyes flashed in sadistic glee as he knew that Kiku had no way of getting out of this. If Kiku said no, he would be shaming Kuro in public and give himself a bad name of being so proud he refused to be taught by someone that was above him. He knew. He had to know, Kiku was certain. And he had no way out.

"I am most flattered by your proposal, but I am not good enough." leave it at that, Kiku internally pleaded, please leave it at that.

Kuro smiled. "Nonsense. I am sure I would love to have you and only you under me."

"Iie, i do not deserve such honour." kiku tried again.

"Think of it as a chance, Honda-san. How could you pass such a thing up?" asked one of the people.

"I will think of it."

"I am afraid that is not possible. I will be going off soon, and I need an answer immediately in order to see if my plans need to change."

He was stuck. What could he do..?

"He will do it Master, I am sure." said one of the men smoothly, "I will talk to him myself." It was a person of higher rank than the both of them. Someone with reputation and skill. Kiku had no choice. He agreed soon enough, hating it all the way.

Kuro had finally struck after biding his time. Kiku was helpless in the face of it. He was trapped and caged, unable to be save himself.

* * *

"Stand up straighter." came the icy voice of Kuro. He had just finished running kiku to the ground and Kiku could hardly see, but he forced himself to stand up straight. "Yes, Kuro-san."

A deadly silence. "How would you address me...?"

"M-Master.. Kuro-sama..."

"Better. But that you forgot in the first place warrants a consequence."

They were alone at Kuro's mountain house where he was supposed to train. Of course that was not the only thing that Kiku had to do.

He dimly felt his hakama being undone and dropping from his frame. He moved his hands to catch them when the icy voice came again.

"Did I tell you to move..?"

Kiku stilled. He felt his fundoshi be slowly undone and he tried to push Kuro away and run, but he had no strength after the tiring excercise. Kuro caught his hands easily and turned him around, bending him over.

In the closed off mountain, nobody heard his screams.

* * *

He was walking three steps behind his master. Most of the time, his master left him alone, and he was glad, but the master always came back. And he would always be checked on.

He always made sure that he never made a slip in front of the master, but he was clumsy and silly, so he often did. At least the master could always find something that he forgotten or did not do to perfection. As he said, he was clumsy and foolish, and the master certainly knew that.

Following the master, he was brought into the private training room. He was told to do a very complicated kata that he was supposed to practice. He did so, but he was off balance. He knew that when he could not find his center at the ending part. He did not trip and to others, it may have looked perfect, but the master saw through it. He knew. He called it out.

Kiku could only look up fearfully, as the master came up to him, sword at the ready.

"Let me show you how it's really done.." And swung the sword down at him.

* * *

The master was away for important things. He made to visit Yao a lot. He still respected Yao, but the respect was slowly dimming. There was another figure he knew that held himself with grace and authority. The more he looked up to it, the more he realised how much he respected the master.

He started to come less and less to visit Yao. The regal figure he saw was now... A figment of his memories. The Yao he saw now could not even think coherently. Was this really the person he looked up to...? The master was right all along about him. Mind in the clouds, body filled with opium. Why had he looked up to him in the past...? Was he just fooled by the illusions of wealth, grandeur, and luxury of the past he used to have...? He did not really care to think. He supposed the master was right after all in his view of Yao. He was such a fool to think otherwise. The master was always correct after all.

He sneaked past Yao's room, where the stench of opium was practically suffocating. There he met green eyes and blond hair. He was intrigued. He was very intrigued. And the master was not around...

* * *

"You see...? You fool. You should know that he would leave you. What do you think you had that ensnared him...? He was just using you. And you know what is the most sickening part...? You actually let him. Disgusting creature. You shame Japan with your very actions. Bow down and beg for forgiveness."

Kiku could only sob. Why had he left...? Why had Asa-san left...?

"Do you think.." the master said slowly "that shame should be forgiven..?"

Kiku looked up as him. He slowly shook his head. "I suppose it depends on the magnitude...?"

Kuro looked at him. "You have shamed me. By choosing to go with him, you shamed me. By looking and allowing another in when I was not around, you have shamed me. Me. I should claw your eyes out, but I'm not sure you would be worth the effort."

Kiku closed his tearfilled eyes.

"Still, there is an actual reason why he left you."

Kiku's eyes snapped open. Why..? Why had he been left behind...?

"You are simply not good enough. That is all. You never will be. Now for your foolishness you need to be punished. I really can never leave you alone.. You need to be leashed and collared like the dog you are before you bring anymore shame to Nihon, and to me. You need more training."

* * *

He was always at home. He was always alone at home. At first it was punishment. Now.. Now it was protection. The master was right. He had brought shame to Japan, and he should not put himself in a position where he would not be able to do so again.

How long had it been since he saw the sun...? He did not know. Kuro just looked at him and muttered something about how he didnt need any more people who burned under the sun. Still he was left alone.

Of course he had heard that Asa-san tried to come back. Tried to look and talk to him again. He wanted to, but he could not. The masters forbid him from it. When he wanted to try, the master simply tied him up so he could not escape. Then he went through every possible reason why seeing him again would be a bad thing.

He could practically hear it. He turned to look around. Ah. He could practically hear it because he did hear it. There in a hidden corner, red eyes watched him.

* * *

The master taught hi a lot. He thought him how to be proper. He thaught him how to think with greatness and respect. He taught him to see the world as it is. He taught him to leave his little daydream of a world and enter the real world. The master taught him so much.

As he stepped out with his orders and his mission, breathing the fresh air, and enjoying the feel of the sun for the first time since a long time, Kiku realised how much he owed the master and how grateful he was to have him by his side. No westerner would fool him ever again, and this young nation that demanded him to reveal himself...

He knew cunning now. It was easy to fool if they think you are below them. Then you strike. Then we strike. He saw the flash of red at the corner of his eyes. Then we both strike together.

* * *

Excusing himself from the rest of the allies, he went to the next room. He knew that Kuro was already waiting with a new lesson. He had been and learned to much and knew what to expect. He stopped screaming a long time ago.

"You are late."  
"I apologise. I came as fast as I could without arousing suspicion."

The answer was a humming noise. And silence.

Kuro stared at him blandly. He glanced up. Red. His master's eyes were always red now. He thought he would have a different colour... His masters eyes were always red.. Even though he was certain that they should be another colour. They should be golden. Golden and warm.

"Master.. What happened to your eyes..? They were not always red..." kiku said out to him.

He was slammed so hard against the wall, he was certain that he may have fractured something.

"Oh so you know do you?" he hissed out, long fingers curling around his neck, red eyes flashing.

"Can you tell me what colour they were..?" he hissed venomously. Kiku flinched.

"I.. I..." He stammered.

Kuro grabbed his hair and slammed him down on the floor. Somewhere, there was a loud crack and a terrible pain, but kiku knew better then to scream. "You insignificant, ungrateful impudent fool..!" the voice was like a growl, low and dangerous. "You don't know anything! You made me into this!"

Kuro could only frown in confusion still on the floor. He gave a small cry as a foot connected to his stomach. It was still not healed yet, and he could feel the cuts opening up again.

He felt kuro pull him up and grab him, imitation a hug, his head buried in kuro's neck. By then his jacket was undone and kuro easily slipped his hands underneath it, where he could reach his back.

Kiku bit back a strangled cry as his back was clawed and his skin torn, bleeding.  
"Oh, poor poor kiku, does that hurt? Do you need a hug? A little cup of milk?" a fake concerned voice cooed at him as one of the hands removed itself from his back to cup his face, forcing him to look at those furious and hate filled eyes.

"Shame."

Kiku gasped as the hand on his back pressed on the wound.

"You only bring shame to us. To the nation and land. You have nothing worth redemption from all your sins. They will never be forgiven."

From there he pushed kiku so that he was slammed on the floor on his back.

"You should just be a mindless puppet. Your mind only creates trouble. You are not worth the trouble you cause."

Kiku could only let the tears fall as he was told to repeat those words while being slammed into mercilessly.

"You shamed me by leaving. You shamed yourself by braking your promise. You shamed the nation by trusting that outsider. You shamed everything by being so weak..!"

He deserved it after all.

"I am not worth the trouble I cause..."

* * *

Kiku was in the hospital. He was wearing the sterile white of the patients. At his side, two huge scars were slowly healing. They said it was not his fault. That he was not the one doing these atrocities. But he was. He cut them down. He cut them down while kuro stood to the side and watched.

He was the one who stabbed Chuugoku in the back. Chuugoku, no longer Yao. By that time he was utterly convinced that the person he knew was gone and dying. That what he saw was merely an illusion. And he should erase anything that would bring shame. Chuugoku did not deserve to be powerful. Nihon did.

He was the one who cut down Kankoku and Taiwan. Kuro was not the one who betrayed them. Still, he could not apologise. It would never be allowed for him to apologise. It would mean he regretted following Kuro and his decisions. He did, but Kuro would never allow it. And if there is one thing he knew, it was that Kuro was always watching him.

Always.

* * *

Kiku woke up drenched with sweat as horrible red eyes haunted his vision. He wanted to tell himself that it was just a dream. But that was impossible, he knew, as he felt the two arms snake around his frame.

"Dreaming of me...? How sweet." a dark breath hissed in his ear.

His nightmare was not over yet.

* * *

Well, what do you think? Review and tell me please ^^


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